We left off with my narrative about my time with the rain forest Indians and my realization that the force of God's love was truly the most astonishing thing in the Universe to create change. Now, jump ahead in my life four years to July 11, 2009 in Kuldigas, Latvia. I had returned from a U.S. tour to Munich with only 17 hours to unpack, pack and be off on another airplane to Latvia and begin a two week teaching and directing stint. I was exhausted when I arrived in Latvia and on the one and a half hour's drive from the airport to Kuldigas, I closed my eyes and whispered a small, simple prayer. "My Lord, Latvia has always been a place of spiritual favors for me. I am so tired. Please visit me here so I can work with strength and joy". When we arrived in Kuldigas, I ate and went immediately to bed.
I awoke in the morning with a strange awareness. I was asked to preach in the service and started to prepare myself. I was quite distracted by this awareness which consisted of a lightness of spirit, a persistent giggle in my soul, and a sense of deep nourture in my body. I couldn't define anything, but it grew in me until finally, I was standing at the pulpit in the midst of my preaching and stopped dead. The light went on and my eyes opened big and for a moment I was silent. He had come. I had asked for a visit and He was here. There was no doubt in my mind. I was flabbergasted!
God makes it clear in His word that we are to have access to Him. He insists on speaking of this access in terms of our five senses. We are to see Him, taste of Him, smell His fragrance, touch Him, hear Him. It is clear that we are to discover His presence in our world by finding Him through our five senses. St. Thomas Aquinas speaks so clearly on this issue:
…existence of God is self-evident through our five senses. Thomas Aquinas (St.) (ca. 1225-1274)
Synaesthesia: The power of perception comes to the organ of the five senses from one common root. The power of perception derives from it, and all perceptions gathered by the individual senses terminate in it.
Perhaps, God simply awoke this root of perception in me and suddenly I became aware of His intimate presence. I began to pay attention to Him through my five senses and found Him every minute of every hour manifest to me. The giggle in my soul grew to a spontaneous joy and laughter that caused my students and friends to laugh as well and turn curious heads toward me constantly. The rest of that summer was marked by an intense listening in my soul to Him speak and then seeing, hearing, smelling, tasting, feeling Him confirm those conversations through the material world in which I existed moment to moment. I strained to tear myself away from this intense listening and perform in the activity of my ministry. So much of what I had read all of my life about God, who He was and who we were in relationship to Him and our destinies began to make profound and moving sense to me. It was such an adventure of discovery...so, exciting. I wanted to shout to the whole world.
The lasting tatoo on my life has been the experiencing of the inexplicable intensity of God's love for me....His passion and jealous possession of me. This banished fear from my life. It destroyed self-doubt and inferiority in me. It brought me more pleasure, satisfaction and deep fulfillment than I ever thought possible. It has changed my life as radically as it changed those Indians lives in Ecuador. I began a new life that day in July and a true union to the one God of the Universe who is love.
I will continue tomorrow with a series of perceptiong which I have learned from this encounter with God. The next blog is entitled: ' The Sacrifice of Pain.'
I hope some of you are out there. But, even if you are not, I love writing this and recounting for myself again the glorious nature of God in my life.
With an earnest heart,
Kathleen
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